ready for a new relationship
peace with past. Let go.

The first and most important relationship you’ll ever have throughout life is your relationship with yourself. How you feel about and care for your own mind, body and spirit sets the stage for all relationships outside yourself  — with your partner, family, friends, and co-workers.

How can you tell? If you put off dating or if you keep finding yourself in short lived relationships or on dates that never amount to more, you could in reality not be ready for a deep loving long-term relationship. I know it sounds contrary to your intuition for those who really really want a relationship, but consider this.

If you are entering a relationship with the aim and expectation of gaining something in particular, be it sex, attention, status, for ‘the sake of it’, ego-boost, to keep others quiet etc., you are very likely to attract poor relationships or find that prospective partners don’t find you attractive. The thing is, you will never get a fulfilling relationship unless you are in a particular headspace.

So when do you know you are ready to attract the right person into your life?

– You must have made peace with your past relationships.

When you think back on them, there’s no feeling like  pangs of anger, sorrow, pain or regret. If you do, you may still need to work through mourning the loss of that particular relationship however long or short it was.

If on the other hand you think back on past relationships with compassion and forgiveness, as an important life lesson you are grateful for, or some variant of these, you are ready for a fulfilling relationship.

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-Emotional and Spiritual Sufficiency

You live your life where your work, interests, hobbies, friends, family make you feel loved and supported and ‘fulfilled’.

Despite the unavoidable challenges in life, missing a work deadline, having an argument with a friend etc. you are on the whole of being able to feel good about yourself. If you feel there is a vacuum in your life, a hunger for love and support, or you have no sense of direction, you might want to address this before pursuing a relationship.

– Something to offer

Your life is full. Full of things “on going”.  There maybe personal achievements and aspirations being on exciting projects or you simply enjoying what is going on around you. You feel excited about life and you want to share this with someone. If you feel life is a drag, feels depressive and difficult, you may want to take a look at what is stopping you from moving forward (and don’t say ‘a relationship’!).

It’s your job to make you feel fulfilled, not someone else’s. Sometimes it takes a bit of coaching to help you get back on track, like any great athlete who has a personal coach, you might benefit from having someone there to steer you in the right direction.

If you address these issues, you will not only be more open and ready for a good relationship, you will be more attractive to the right person.